| Things You Wish You Could Hear |
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If only life were like this!
"Try to gain a few pounds." "You're flossing too much." "It was only a loose wire; there's no charge." "You can retire right now." "I think you need a smaller size, Ma'am." "Well, the position is open, and I thought of you." "Let's go to lunch. I'll treat." "Someone gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday, but I don't drink alcohol. Would you like it?" "It was only a callous on his paw pad. There's no charge for the visit." "I found this hundred-dollar bill right at your feet. It must be yours." "No, Sir, I'm not a telemarketer. I'm with the prize division, and you've just won a new car." "Your alma mater called. You're going to be awarded an honorary Ph.D." "No, I don't think we should get married. In fact, let's keep separate residences. I'll pay all the bills for both of them." "No, Honey, you control the remote tonight. It's too big a burden on me." "I'm with the IRS. We found an error on your return. It seems we owe you a lot of money." "No, your check didn't bounce. In fact, you have plenty of money in your account." "I know we just met, but would you consider going to the Bahamas with me for two weeks?" "You've lost weight!" "Your house sold for twice what you thought it would!" "This is not something for the garage sale, Sir. This is a rare and valuable antique!" |
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