| The New 9 Circles of Hell |
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Are you going there?
In a major shake-up of Catholic cosmology, Pope Benedict recently issued a papal bull re-defining the 9 circles of Hell and the sins that will get your soul consigned to them. The new sins, in order of their circles, are: 1: People who have a car payment that is higher than their rent.2: People who put mayonnaise on a pastrami sandwich. 3: People who use more than 5 words to order a cup of coffee. 4: People who use Tivo as a verb. 5: People who try to back up an argument about politics by quoting an actor or rock star. 6: People who spent tens of thousands of dollars on a college education, but send e-mails that look like a 6-year-old wrote them. 7: People who limit their news sources to those that will not challenge their beliefs. 8: People who buy anything from spammers and thus encourage them to keep spamming. 9: People who let their 11-year-old daughters wear t-shirts that say "Porn Star". So remember, if you do any of these things, you are going to Hell. === "The New 9 Circles of Hell" is by Greg Bulmash and Copyright 2006. You may share this with friends in e-mail or on the web so long as you keep this notice. See more of Greg's humor at FunnyButSick.com |
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