14.) Velcro – Never in the history of the universe has something that is not sticky been created specifically to make things stick together. Just think about that for a minute.

13.) The six ringed, plastic beer holder – Not only has it allowed millions of beer swilling humans to carry six beers at once, but it has also helped those millions of humans to DRINK six beers at once.

12.) The orange peeler – It changed the course of human events by helping mankind get to the juicy, citrusy goodness of an orange without having to eat the rind itself.

11.) The microwave oven – It decreased up the preparation time for meals by double, prevented hundreds of thousands of single and divorced men from starving to death and makes one damn fine "doggy dryer."

10.) The Swiss Army knife – This handy little tool came with a toothpick, a corkscrew, a pair of tweezers, scissors, a toe and fingernail clipper, a screwdriver, a nail file and at least five other tools. Now if it only had something you could cut things with.

9.) The nose hair trimmer – Prevented men and women alike from looking like a Chia Pet was mutating from inside their head.

8.) The electric nose hair trimmer – Prevented men and women alike from cutting their nostrils off.

7.) Silly string – Kept children busy for hours and effectively taught them about the dangers of combining aerosol products and fire.

6.) Milk – Ended one of mankind's darkest times when they were forced to eat their morning bowl of "Cap'n Crunch" with either water, air or spit.

5.) The Q-Tip – virtually replaced the crude and unrefined finger.

4.) Helium – The famous gas did wonders for the party favor industry, and gave the creator of "Alvin and the Chipmunks" a career and a dizzy headache.

3.) Bewildered stares – Provided some much needed conversation at office parties and strip joints, and gave people a way to react probably after walking in on their spouse who's sitting on the bed in a plastic suit with a goat.

2.) False teeth – Not only did it aid the elderly in eating, but provided another use for bewildered stares when grandpa would play "Got your teeth" with his grandchildren.

1.) The pause button on the remote control – It certainly made "Baywatch" a much more interesting show for guys at least.