There are a lot of people in the world today who have dedicated themselves and even their entire career to telling the other people living in this world exactly what they believe is wrong with the world in which they live.

Some of these people blame the world’s problems on such things as the widespread use of guns. Others say that the proliferation of drugs or “illegal” substances, which are grown or made all over the planet, are to blame. For some reason, a small group of individuals have blamed those lollipops with the chocolate center. It is suspected they might be on drugs.

Now I may be just another one of these people but after reading and hearing all of these people point their accusatory finger of blame on aerosol cans to refrigerator magnets for the world’s problems, but I think that it’s finally time to get to the root of the problem. So for the first time in the history of Internet humor (the history of Internet humor is only about five years old, so I’m definitely getting in on the ground floor on this), I’m going to reveal what’s truly wrong with the world today.

First off, it’s way too round, which is not an ideal living space for people to live, work and do yoga within, and it makes our lives too confusing as well. There aren’t any rounds apartments, houses or living quarters anywhere in the world, so why should we live in a round world? There should at least be some conformity in either the spaces where we live or the space where we live in our spaces.

And because the world is round, there are no corners to the edges of the Earth, which begs the expression, “To all the corners of the Earth.” You always hear in history classes or on A&E programming about how “Magellan, the great explorer, circumnavigated the globe traveling to the corners of the Earth only to die while trying.” That’s where he screwed up, he kept looking for the corners of the Earth only to die while trying because they’re aren’t any! It’s round! No corners!

Speaking of useless trivia that you forgotten about in school, if you’ve ever looked at a map or diagram of the Solar System, you’ll notice that the Earth is the brightest and most colorful planet of them all. Plus the other planets such as Mars or Venus usually have only one color and are nothing but dull, barren, lifeless masses of rock. Compared to the other planets, Earth looks like a Cancun vacation brochure.

This, of course, is the very nature of the problem. We are prone to alien attacks. If you’re the leader of the Zog squadron who’s looking to overtake a new planet to re-populate your race and you had to choose between a colorful, cloud filled, picturesque planet and a floating bowling ball, which one would you choose?

So those are the major problems with our world today. Now that they have finally been brought to your attention, I encourage you, the reader, to spread the word and tell others of our home’s horrible problems find solutions to correct them immediately.

That’s right, you come up with the solutions. I just find problems to complain about. Correcting them? That’s your department, Chaco.