| Diet Rules |
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Finally! The official Silly Diet! Our dietologists have been hard at work, and have some up with some new diet rules you can actually live by! Be careful you don't disappear entirely! If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda. If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner! So encourage others to eat more... and more often... Broken Cookie pieces contain no fat -- the process of breaking the cookie causes the fat to break down before it is actually eaten. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, cookie dough, and popsicles. Foods that have the same colour have the same number of calories, e.g., spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. Note: Chocolate is a universal colour and maybe substituted for any other food colour without increasing caloric content. In food used for medicinal purposes the calories NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and anything made by Sara Lee. Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are not part of one's personal fuel... merely entertainment. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich, ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae, and licking the beaters when making icing. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do. (see above, encouraging others) |
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